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[Thursday,
April 2nd, 2009] |
im going to stop getting upset over everything.
im going to do my homework.
im going to go to work happy.
im going to treat her with the love she deserves.
fuckkk.
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[Thursday,
April 2nd, 2009] |
i need to find a way to make my life work.
i need to get motivated.
i avoid class, i avoid work, i avoid everyone.
ash is the only thing right in my life.
please someone.. help me.
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[Tuesday,
March 31st, 2009] |
im sick of work.
im sick of school.
im not happy at either.
im so burnt out i dont even know what i like to do anymore.
i constantly work, go to school, or study.
im so tired that even on my days off i cant seem to figure out what to do.
when i try to write nothings there because im so tired.
when i try to draw i just stare.
when i try to write music im confused.
all the things i liked to do seemed to disappear because im in a constant rush with school and work.
the only thing that makes me happy anymore is being with ash.
im so greatful to have her.
im so depressed.
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[Wednesday,
February 25th, 2009] |
No one reads this anyways so I'm not sure why I'm about to write, but whatever.
I'm not "Really" writing.. just blabbing about useless shit.
Things are nice.
Going to NYC and seeing Phantom of the Opera with Ash was like a dream for me. The two of us were like little kids all giddy and happy the whole weekend.. it was a fairytale.
I would post pictures but.. i havent uploaded them yet and that was almost 3 weeks ago haha.
We're going to florida at the end of May so we're both really really excited... and I just put a down payment on a ring for her. but shhh. hush hush about that :)
Work is okay lately.. not sure how I feel about it. Some days its really good (like today for example) and others its really bad (sunday for example). Its constant up and down and change. its always changing... but exactly the fuckin same.
Im really stoned right now so I think im going to go eat something.
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| i love |
[Monday,
February 16th, 2009] |
i love ashley with all of my heart and i cannot wait to marry her.
:D
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| Take A Look At Me Now - The Postal Service |
[Monday,
January 26th, 2009] |
Good evening, those who read livejournal.
I'm sitting on my bed and I've just been constantly thinking about how life is so different but exactly the fuckin same. Let's see.. I've graduated and now I'm going to umass lowell. I work at the body shop in the burlington mall. I don't talk to one single person I graduated with. Or my friends who had graduated the year before. And I am so unbelievably happy with my life.
I have a girlfriend and she is absolutely the most incredible person I have ever met. No one has ever made me laugh or smile or as happy as she does.
Anyways I just thought I'd do the info catching up on first before I continue to write.
Lately I'm just fuckin down. I don't want to go back to school because I'm not learning and encountering life as I want. I just want to write, draw, sing, read, write, experience.. I want to explore what the universe has to offer. And I really am trying to get things out of my classes, and I know deep down that I do. It's just not satisfying the knowledge I crave and desire so badly.
I feel like I'm just learning the same things the world does, I want to take a different path and explore something else.. like existence and meaning. And yes, I know some of you think that is retarded and cliche.. but you know what fuck it. Because it makes me fucking feel. It makes me feel alive. Not just happy, but ALIVE. I love, not like, the nostalgia and the nausea that comes with the exploration. And then the natural happy high that comes after making a discovery. And then once again sinking into that endless cycle of discovery.. of life, death, and all that exists beyond and in between.
I hope everyone is doing well. For right now I am going to continue thinking, drawing, and just.. just being.
For those I've lost contact with, I lost all my contacts numbers in my phone. Same number (978 337 2636) feel free to text/call.
-Good night.. or morning.
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| back again |
[Friday,
January 23rd, 2009] |
It's been a long fuckin time since I've been on here.
And I've been desperately searching for a lot lately.
This winter has been one of the hardest winters I've ever gone through and I wouldn't have made it without Ash. Things are totally different since I last wrote in here, but exactly the same. If you know what I mean.
I'm really fuckin tired right now so I don't plan on writing much.
I just wanted to say hello to everyone, and that I miss you guys and that I will continue to write again in here.
-Lindsay
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[Friday,
November 9th, 2007] |
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FUCK YOU.
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[Sunday,
June 24th, 2007] |
ill take the truth at any cost,
cause we are broken.
what must we do to restore?
PARAMORE
Arguing Against the Wall
I feel the trembling racing through my veins.
The fear and anger clash when the oxygen coincides with my blood.
The rain will bubble around to keep us cool, but the heat will kill
The very freezing ice that hits us harder now.
Her head peaks up with nothing but a slight smile.
Oh, I really just want to break the more I build it up inside.
Oh, I'm pushing for a grand entrance to prove my love is my pride.
You'll place your arms around my waist
You'll pull me closer but you push me away.
Flames burn into my chest when I ask and wonder
How could this be the case?
Lost, Lost, Lost.
Her head peaks up with nothing but a slight smile.
Oh, I really just want to break the more I build it up inside.
Oh, I'm pushing for a grand entrance to prove my love is my pride.
A halt at words may hold my breath.
But I'll cling on to every feeling we've made.
Oh, Oh, Oh.
I desire the very thing that holds us together, now.
Oh, I really just want to break the more I build it up inside.
Oh, I'm pushing for a grand entrance to prove my love is my pride.
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[Monday,
June 11th, 2007] |
my birthday is tomorrow.
=)
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[Thursday,
June 7th, 2007] |
Goodluck to the Class of 2007.
I loved a lot of you.
And don't think you've been released from me,
I'm still seeing yall :)
<3
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| smirnoff 100 proof |
[Sunday,
May 6th, 2007] |
mom&dad were away friday night. mom was in CT dad in Montreal.
i got trashed beyond belief. dont really remember some of it.
didnt really matter since i was alone anyway.
saturday night i worked with liz, it was her last night.
sort of disappointing, i liked her.
today is sunday. i worked today 1 to 7 with sammie and 3 hour michelle. we got quite a bit done. dans supposed to be in tomorrow, so we had to get everything ready for that. i also work with josh tomorrow, hes new.. and apparently hot. so i get to be with him on his first day and its just me and him.. hopefully hes not a prick. i was told to slack off and see what happens.
last week i received a card from everyone at work. it was a thankyou card for all my hard work. it was nice. it was good to be appreciated. thats the first time they ever thanked me. i did a lot for work last week, so it was pretty neat. i told them they shouldve given me a raise instead. they laughed.
i still like him. after the whole thing with nik and what not, and i still like him. the same person. its kind of frustrating but at the same time i loveit.
oh yeah and last night i hung out with mike williams. i forgot about that for a minute, it was nice. hadnt seem him in a while. we went to his house and watched some of kill bill volume one. i surprised matt with a visit, he was sort of in shock.. oh hey matt your probably reading this right now. =)
anyways what a weekend...
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[Saturday,
April 28th, 2007] |
single.
like krafts single cheese. mmmm good=)
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[Thursday,
April 26th, 2007] |
wootahh.
life is interesting. always keeping me on my toes.
i like looking at colleges.
i cant wait to go to savannah. im really excited =D
on a different note, before i go there i need to get this portfolio done.
should be interesting.
im excited.
& i also would like summer to come fairly fast, and i would also like school to be easy this term. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.
ill make it easy.
all a's for me = tattoo!
this better work....
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[Monday,
April 23rd, 2007] |
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this wall is becoming a bigger project then i expected. im really liking it.
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[Saturday,
April 21st, 2007] |
i've been to busy lately.
i want to sit back and have a few moments to myself.
i need a break or a timeout from life or something so i can catch up with my friends who live far away.. or dont live in billerica.
and so i can catch up with myself.
and catch up in my mind.
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[Wednesday,
April 11th, 2007] |
things are going really well for the moment, though i dont want to jinx it.
searching for a college is actually fun, because its for my own personal interests.
nik is amazing.
friends are amazing.
yay.
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[Thursday,
April 5th, 2007] |
i want to say what i have to say.
i want to blow you away.
i want to be with you every night, am i holding you too tight?
fuckin lyrics.
work has made me gain quite some money.
i havent really had much time for the internet, which has made me write more.
i now have 70 pages in my book.
(hand written.. so i guess thats really not that many?)
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[Monday,
April 2nd, 2007] |
"She's got everything she needs, she's an artist, she don't look back. She can take the dark out of nighttime and paint the daytime black."
-Bob Dylan
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